How holding on to who you’ve always been keeps you from who you’re meant to become.
We always talk about how scary it is to change.
But we rarely talk about how dangerous it is not to.
Because here’s the truth no one really wants to admit:
Staying the same has a cost.
A very high one.
And the longer you stay in that comfort zone, the more expensive it becomes—not just mentally or emotionally, but biologically.
Your Body is Addicted to Familiarity
Dr. Joe talks a lot about this:
The body is the unconscious mind.
And if you’ve been thinking, acting, and feeling a certain way for years—your body literally becomes addicted to those emotional states.
Even if they’re painful.
Even if they keep you stuck.
The moment you start to change… your body senses danger.
Not real danger—but the unknown.
And the unknown is terrifying to the old self.
So it protests.
You’ll hear it whisper things like:
- “Let’s just do it tomorrow.”
- “This isn’t the right time.”
- “Maybe I don’t actually need to change.”
But that’s not intuition.
That’s withdrawal.
It’s your old identity fighting to survive.
“The hardest part about change is not making the same choices you did the day before.”
—Dr. Joe Dispenza
I Lived in Survival for Years
I know this better than anyone—because I lived it.
For most of my life, I had to rely on myself.
I learned to be strong. Independent. Controlled.
It wasn’t just a personality trait. It was survival.
I taught myself how to hold it together.
How to figure things out.
How to rely on no one.
I could push through anything.
And I was proud of that.
But beneath that self-sufficiency was something else:
Isolation. Exhaustion. Disconnection.
Even when my body was breaking down… even when I knew something had to change…
I still said:
“I’ve got this.”
“I don’t need anyone.”
“Just a little longer. I can handle it.”
Letting Go Felt Like Dying
Here’s the hardest truth I had to face:
To really change, I had to let go of the part of me I had depended on for so long.
The part that got me through the chaos.
The version of me who survived everything.
And letting go of her?
It felt like a death.
Not metaphorically.
Literally.
It felt like grief.
Like I was killing off the version of me who always had her guard up.
Who could manage anything.
Who didn’t need anyone.
But she wasn’t aligned with who I wanted to become.
And as painful as it was… I knew:
That version of me was never meant to build my future.
She helped me survive my past.
But I didn’t want to live in survival anymore.
This Is Why We Stay the Same
It’s not because we’re lazy.
It’s not because we don’t want change.
It’s because change means stepping into the unknown.
And the body—especially a body that’s been trained by trauma—panics in the unknown.
That’s why people procrastinate.
That’s why we self-sabotage.
Not because we’re weak, but because we’re wired to seek what’s familiar—even if it’s harmful.
The discomfort of the known feels safer than the possibility of the unknown.
But here’s the irony:
The life you want lives on the other side of that discomfort.
What Helped Me Start Changing
- Finding regulation before transformation.I had to stop trying to force massive change in a dysregulated state.First I needed coherence—through breath, meditation, movement.
- Letting someone witness me.For someone who always said, “I don’t need anyone,” this was the biggest shift.Just letting someone see me—not fix me, not advise me, just see me.
- Making small choices differently.One boundary.One honest conversation.One morning where I showed up for my future self instead of betraying her.
And I cried.
A lot.
Because it felt like betrayal to the old me.
But also like liberation to the new one.
“Your future is not somewhere you go. It’s something you create.”
—Dr. Joe Dispenza
If You’re Scared, It Means You’re Close
So if you’re feeling that push-pull inside of you—
Part of you ready to leap, part of you gripping the edge—
Please know:
That means you’re right where you need to be.
The resistance? That’s the old self losing power.
The fear? That’s the body stepping into the unknown.
The grief? That’s the death of the identity that kept you safe.
But what’s coming…
Is freedom.
And if you want to be witnessed in your transformation—
Not pushed. Not judged. Just seen and held—
You’re welcome to sit with us.
👉 Join our meditation community
Where the work doesn’t end after one retreat.
It begins.
